My Journal Reflection

Writing has always been a very serious topic for me, especially when writing essays or articles for class work. I was always expected to write grammatically correct. Everything had to be organized in a logical order and neat format. It was always very… boring. Those who write from the heart know why. Sometimes nothing makes sense, sometimes things just come out and that’s not what formal writing is. I’d never had the experience to write of whatever occurred to me. Writing about whatever I want, for a class? Like a dream come true. Little did I know, it wasn’t as easy as expected? I’ve had journals in the past, but nothing like this one. Although my journals were personal, I always had that little voice in my head, the little micro manager, who said: “Write about this, don’t write about that.” It was hard for me to truly express myself without worrying about it having to sound pretty. All of that changed when I entered this semester’s English class and was assigned a journal project with The Anti-Rules

Being True to One’s Self

After watching Donald Shebib’s “Running Brave”¹ I began to ask myself a lot of questions. You see I have always been a big dreamer. Since I was a little girl I knew what I wanted to be and what I wanted to do with my life. A great responsibility huh? I always knew exactly what I wanted. I had made up a plan a, b and c by the time I was in fifth grade. I’d wanted to go to college since I was nine years old. I was always kind of a bookworm. I actually remember once telling someone to make me go to college when I turned eighteen, if for some reason by then I had changed my mind and didn’t want to. Some nine year old. 

Back then I wanted to be a psychologist, of course I had no idea what a social worker was. Had I have known, I’d have wanted to be that; a social worker. When I finally got to college I entered the Faculty of Social Sciences (as expected and against my father’s wishes, also expected) but something happened that I didn’t expect; Social Work. For some reason I messed up my application and applied to faculties I wasn’t qualified for and had the chance to be reconsidered. My application being “reconsidered”? I was furious. Eventually I got over it and decided to reapply, and guess in what concentration, Social Work.

 I haven’t finished my bachelors yet but I can honestly say I believe it’s one of the best choices I’ve made in my life. I understand now that I am exactly where I need to be. I believe that it was written in my destiny for me to be a Social Worker. 

Now, what I am trying to get at is being true to one’s self. What can I say? Life isn’t easy. It is full of obstacles and hard choices. Sometimes the correct path in life is the longest and the least attractive. But I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and that every human being has desires and aspirations in their heart and that they are there for a reason to. 

In “Running Brave” Two of the characters who impacted me the most was Billy Mills (of course) and Frank. I believe they represent the two paths a human being can take when it comes to our dreams. On one side, we have Frank a great artist. A person with great talent and I imagine, wonderful dreams. On another, we have Billy an excellent runner. Two people with tremendous talent. 

Now what does each one do with them? First path, Frank’s. His dreams literally die with him. Did he really achieve his full potential? Billy’s sister says, “He’s afraid to leave and he dosen’t like it here at the same time.” Why stay somewhere you don’t like? Why be dominated by fear? Now, let’s take a look at the second path, Billy Mills’. He left the reservation, his home, his comfort zone, his everything to meet the unknown. Of course his journey wasn’t easy. He had to deal with prejudice, rejection, and discrimination. In fact he himself struggled with his identity. He struggled with who he was, how he was brought up and the man he was and his father wanted him to be. He also experienced rejection from some of his own, although others did support him. He dealt with expectations of other being imposed on him and being treated as a running machine. At one point he even forgot what it all was for. The big “why”. 

Even though his journey was far from easy, even though it was difficult, he remained true to himself. Even if at times he felt a bit lost he always got back on track. I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from him and that we too can be true to ourselves and not remain in our comfort zone because we don’t know anything different.

References:

1.     1.Film: “Running Brave” (Directed by Donald Shebib. The story of Billy Mills, a North American Indian brought up on the reservation, destined against all odds to become the best distance runner in the world.)